I can’t give individualized treatment or diagnostic advice. I really encourage you to seek treatment with a competent professional in your area if you are concerned.
Here are some asks that are similar to yours.
Memories do change over time. It’s hard to tell whether what we newly remember is a more accurate account of what has happened or not, due to the way that our brains work. More often than not, each time we think about something we alter it a little bit, so it becomes less and less like what really happened. That doesn’t mean that memories never come back to someone, but it does mean that when we remember something, it is rarely or ever an objective account of what actually took place.
There are lots of issues with trying to remember something, particularly a specific something. I covered a lot of those issues in my previous posts. I’d like to also add the issue of confirmation bias- when you think there’s something to remember, and it’s a specific sort of something, you go looking for things that will confirm what you think happened. Everybody does this and it happens in all kinds of ways. For instance- if I think a client is depressed, I’ll think about all my interactions and knowledge of that client looking for information that goes along with the idea that they are depressed. I might totally ignore any information that discounts that they are depressed, or are anxious instead, for instance. So it’s important to keep your mind as open as possible, to the idea that whatever you think happened is true, but also to the idea that other things might be true.
The other issue is that it takes awhile for the memory parts of the brain to really start firing and holding onto memories in any real sense. Babies remember things, but in an abstract sort of way- they can respond to conditioning and stimuli, but they don’t have memories the way adults do. Memory doesn’t really form- usually- until children are about 3. So some memories just do not exist because they never did. And as I said before, we don’t encode lots of our experiences, and lose other memories, even as we get older, and they don’t come back on command. It would be much easier if they did, but our minds are much more complex and strange than that.
As for the other part of your ask- children do engage in all kinds of play with their toys. Some of it can seem very strange and problematic. I can’t say what your history of play means- no one can. Although dolls have been used as a part of child interviewing and therapy, it is not considered 100% indicative of sexual abuse. Sometimes it is a sign of sexual abuse. Sometimes it is not- children do all kinds of things just to see what will happen. They are also often fascinated with private parts for all kinds of reasons. If you are concerned I really do encourage you to see a competent clinician. Best wishes :)